One of the greatest challenges for couples is having time alone. In most marriages, both spouses have full-time jobs (add children on top of this). It is hard for them to make time where they are able to connect with each other on a deeper level. The tragically high divorce statistics are a reflection of too many couples investing all of their energy almost everywhere except for in their relationship. When they do talk, the conversation is normally about the children or family and financial issues. When that happens, the husband and wife become estranged emotionally and physically.
So how can a couple make quality time to enjoy each other? The following steps are some of the things that you can do to make your time special and productive.
1) Have a regularly scheduled date. This can be during the day or during the evening. This should be done weekly. Go out to dinner, a movie or whatever it is that you both enjoy. Make it special. Dress up if you are going somewhere fancy. This time is for both of you to enjoy each others’ company. Get to know your spouse! Find out about one another’s dreams, goals, and what you feel is important. This is a light-hearted and fun time that will leave you both feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. Your date time should not be used to discuss family or financial issues (see number 4). This time is sacred for both of you and should be considered a high priority in both your schedules.
2) Put the children to bed early. Not only is this good for the well-being of the children but for the parents too. Couples need more just on their regularly scheduled date out, they need time alone everyday. With the children safely tucked away in bed, parents can have quality time together to talk with each other about the important things that happened during the day.
3) Make your bedroom your sanctuary. The bedroom should be a place for relaxation, intimacy and peaceful sleep. Do not use your bedroom to work or watch television. I know this is a hard one, but your bedroom should be considered your “garden of Eden,” a place for love. This also means “no children allowed.” The children have their own bedrooms and should not sleep with their parents. This is your sanctuary. Children should not to enter their parent’s bedroom unless they ask and are given permission to enter.
4) Schedule a time to discuss family and financial issues. Couples must discuss the important issues of the household. Scheduling a specific time allows you to focus on the subject at hand. This should not be after work, etc. One of the best times would be on a Saturday morning when you both are refreshed and mentally prepared to deal with the discussion. Unless an emergency arises, this should be the time to discuss the serious issues. A good reason for having a scheduled time is that you are free to have the rest of your time to enjoy each others company.
It is very important for couples to have a time where they are deeply connecting with each other. By using the steps above, you will see that you and your spouse are becoming closer and enjoying each other more.